Keep it simple. Keep it true.

Probably the most random story I’ve ever stumbled into telling

I am doing anything in my power to not do any work today.  I think I’ve earned a day of nothing.

Haha, in shakespearean times, “nothing” meant “vagina.”  So I was told.  Maybe my teacher was just a pervert.  I’ve earned a day of vagina.  Gross.

So random story: When I first moved in with my old roommate Rob, he and I decided to go to this place out in the middle of nowhere where you can jump into water from varying heights.  We went with this guy I’d kinda dated, but not really, so it was awkward from the start.

Anyway, we got there and it was just this murky hole of greenish water maybe 25 feet in diameter.  There was no way of telling how deep it was.  It was surrounded by gray clay, so everything was slippery.  Basically you could jump in from the side (about 5 feet), from a platform (about 10 feet), from a tree (about 20 feet) or swing in on a rope (to get to the rope you had to manuver) through the woods. 

When we got there, there were other people, and it had rained, so everything was covered in that slimy gray clay, making climbing up the platform, up the tree, or to the rope super dangerous.  Even jumping off the side was crazy cause you couldn’t push off, you just slipped.

Pretty soon after we got there, we realized that the other people were drunk.  So drunk that one of the guys decided it would be an awesome idea to be naked swinging from the rope.  Once his clothes were off, he got shy, but he didn’t want to chicken out in front of his friends, so his solution was to tuck his dick in between his legs.  As he was swinging on the rope with his legs clenched so his penis would not flap about, just before he dropped into the water, he screamed, “I HAVE A MANGIIIIIINNNNNAAAAA.”  I have a mangina.  That image is clear as day in my head.  Lucky me.

Maybe I’ll do some work now.